There are so many distractions in life now. Email alerts pinging up, phones ringing, notifications from multiple apps all competing for our attention.
All this makes it very hard to get focussed time to work on a single task. And while many of us, me included, might like to tell ourselves that we can multi-task – we can’t. Science shows that what we believe is multi-tasking is actually our brain rapidly switching between tasks causing us to work slower, make more mistakes and experience mental fatigue.
Switching between emails, social media and other tasks might feel interesting but studies show that it can take 23 minutes to regain full focus after being distracted.
So I wasn’t surprised when I was asked to talk about setting boundaries by the Conversational Intelligence Group I facilitate with a friend.
Setting boundaries:
- Protects energy time and focus
- Enables trust, resilience and compassion
- Avoids resentment, burnout and confusion
Author Brené Brown talks about boundaries as the foundation of trust and says “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” So when we set reasonable boundaries we are being kind to ourselves, our colleagues, our friends and our families.
And we shouldn’t feel bad about having difficulty focussing “It’s not your fault you can’t focus. It’s by design. Your distraction is their fuel.” says Johann Hari, author of Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention — and How to Think Deeply Again
A few tips if you are trying to set boundaries:
- Start small and build them up. You are more likely to succeed by setting aside 1 hour for a focussed task than trying to go straight for a whole day.
- 20 second rule – remove the friction from adhering to good boundaries. Put the gym kit next to your bed if you want to work out first thing in the morning.
- Connect with allies who respect and reinforce your boundaries, they’ll help to keep you on track.
- Learn to see the patterns, where boundaries have worked so you can build on this.
- Communicate your boundaries to others but do this with care for others and be clear and consistent in how you apply them.
If you’re interested in reading more about distractions and setting boundaries some books worth considering are:
Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention — and How to Think Deeply Again
The Gifts of Imperfection – Brené Brow
How to Have a Good Day – Caroline Webb
The Happiness Advantage – Shawn Acho
Have a great weekend.
Pippa
Pippa Milne
Chief Executive
